political correctness

This is a copy of the satire i had to write for english. the whole thing is sarcastic if you couldnt tell. i'd love to know if it gets my point across. feedback would be appreciated. I still need a title. suggestions? also if you guys could pray for me; God's teaching me some stuff which is usually a painful process, but im excited. thanks dudes. i guess specifically that i would learn humility. thats a lot of it i think.

Political correctness has infiltrated the deepest depths of society. It forces itself on students, teachers, companies, and into any human aspect of life. This is understandable to some degree; teasing a retarded child is not acceptable by any standards, but when did celebrating Christmas become as unacceptable as teasing retarded children? I can see that I am plainly targeting and infringing on minorities' rights by celebrating Christmas. Protecting the rights of minorities is important, but not at the expense of the majority's rights. However, what is even more disturbing is the lack of consistency in this policy. Political correctness may be incorrect, but once a policy is set in motion, it is to be carried out. Political incorrectness exists in our everyday life.

At intersections all across America, instruments known as “stop lights” may be seen, named so because their function is to stop and thereby regulate traffic periodically. However, I believe I speak for all Americans when I say that I abhor stopping at “stop lights.” I know that my fellow Americans share my feelings as I see so many of them refuse to stop at these lights. They infringe on my right to travel as I please. Therefore, these lights need not be called “stop lights” any longer, but instead “recommended traffic signal lights.” This is much more suitable for those of us who feel disinclined to stop at these “stop lights.”

Although a much revered and joyous event, the so-called Special Olympics advertise an extremely politically incorrect name. I have no quarrel with the event itself, but the name has the potential to cause a great deal of pain and anguish. These Special Olympics are quite exclusive, allowing only certain athletes to compete. These athletes meet certain requirements, but the assertion that they are special may cause many children to question their own specialness. Being special is not exclusive to only the chosen athletes at the Special Olympics, but is a common quality in all of America's children. Children may view themselves as unachieved or unaccepted due to their unspecialness as dictated by the Special Olympics. Children are delicate creatures, and all must maintain a firm belief in their own specialness. The exclusive Special Olympics will continue to inhibit this belief in some of the more “common” children unless the name is changed.

An example that affects all Americans is our democracy. Democracy is one of the most politically incorrect systems of government in existence. The majority consistently trounces the rights of the minority. Political correctness constitutes protecting the rights of the minority, but democracy does not fulfill this necessity. A common statement made in the United States is “majority rules.” This is clearly against all that political correctness stands for. Although our system of government is believed to be great, the contrary is quite simply true. How can a system of government be so enthusiastically accepted throughout the world when it concerns itself only with the majority opinion? This is a blatant inconsistency and should be quickly corrected, not only in our United States, but also in the entire free world. The minority opinion must be given power. This will be known as a Minocrity: rule by the minority, plainly the most politically correct form of government.

Our world is obviously filled with inconsistencies in this issue of political correctness. The majority opinion has ruled long enough; minorities have been squelched for too long. In order to maintain political correctness, the world will soon give rise to Minocrities. In order to preserve minorities, the rights of the majority must be sacrificed. This would not be easily come by unless it was for the politically correct philosophy. I advocate for a consistent policy of political correctness. Our “stop lights” and the Special Olympics are only a few of the myriad examples that must discontinue. Only then can we truly focus on the extended problem of our democratic form of government and replace it with a true oligarchy or even dictatorship, such as Socialism- I mean Minocrity.

i am cultured

i am cultured. the title says so. i went to the symphony tonight. i havent been in awhile, but this was a good one to come back to. so before i write about my sweet symphonic evening, i must first say that i am indeed a music geek and i could totally be a band kid if i wanted. with that said, they played three pieces: an overture by beethoven, Grieg's piano concerto in A minor, and a symphony by Tchaicovsky and i cant remember if it was f major or minor. knowing tchaicovsky i would guess it was minor. his finale was good. they always are. i like tchaicovsky because he makes huge finales and isnt afraid of the brass and woodwinds. every opther composer except beethoven to a certain extent is too afraid to give the brass a bigger load, and i like brass. i like beethoven too so the overture was good. but the best by far was the piano concerto. its one of my favorites already, so hearing it live was tight. the pianist was a frenchman who i can only describe as a refined metro. it was hilarious. but anyway, his technical ability was incredible, but his expression and dynamics were even better. the way brought out the tones on the piano was amazing. i cant explain. you had to be there. he was so good that he came back for an encore and played one of Chopin's nocturnes. this was where his expression was even better. my dad plays the nocturne that he played, and my dad is the best pianist i know personally. but this guy blew him out of the water because of expression and dynamics. it brought the whole song up to another level. chopin would have been proud. and then we got to go back stage and meet the guy. he was really funny. just a normal guy like evryone, who happened to be amazing at the pian. so if any of you are still reading this, i applaud you. sorry that i bored everyone to death. if any of you like classical music like me, let me know. then maybe i wont feel like the huge dork that i am. haha. oh well, i'll make up for it and learn a cool song on bass. any suggestions?

do try this at home kids

so i know i posted a few hours ago. but this is tizight. (sorry peche). today was the fall equinox i guess. my dad had always told me you can only stand an egg up on an equinox because of the way the earth is affected by the sun's gravity. or something. so today was one of like two days in the whole year you can stand an egg up long ways. seriously. try it at home and i'll bet you $5 bucks you cant do it. no joke. i will give $5 to anyone who can stand an egg up on a day other than one of the equinoxes. just try it. i dare you. doesnt that picture look sweet? the egg i actually standing up by itself. that is totally awesome. yeah.

Holy Cow

See you at the pole was today. I didnt go. i dont know why exactly. it wasnt something that really drew me this year. instead i satyed home and prayed by myself, which i usually do in the morning anyway, so it wasnt really anything special. i dont have anything to say about see you at the pole. i just thought it was worthy of some sort of recognition on here.

so the reason for my exclamatory title is because this week is terrible. it started yesterday and it will continue indefinitely. I have so much work to do. i wont have time to do anything with my friends. just a heads up; i'll probably be extremnely busy the next few days. today we had the first half of our ap physics test. tomorrow is the second half. what kind of teacher gives you a test that takes two days? that is just completely mean. whatever. i have my first honors history test of the year on friday. honors history tests are always an adventure in themselves, but the first one of the year is always the grand opening into reality: "an A in honors history is not easily come by." i believe that is the universal truth. i dont want to sound arrogant, but i have set the curve on these tests quite often and I am still dreading it. you have no idea. unless you're in honors history. haha. i also have three essays due and a project. i probably bombed our honors english test on monday. but beside all of that, school is really fun! yeah, no. teachers always decided to go on overload for a couple weeks each semester, and it has begun. it always happens without fail. the worst part is that you never know when they'll stop. whatever. i will prevail. so now im just stalling because i really dont feel like studying. i should probably get to it. farewell. i shall return. if i survive. haha.

doggies!!!!!!!!!!!!

so right now, we have five dogs in my house. we own two, two are my aunt's because she's staying with us, and we're dogsitting one. 2+2+1=5. yay arithmetic. anywho, it has come to my attention that five dogs in a single household pruduce a large amount of excrement which is released into the the yard. today i mowed my lawn. today was the day i mowed my lawn barefoot.....

thats all i have to say about that.

adrenaline rush

wow. im so pumped right now. my aunt is staying at my house with her two dogs. one of them is in love with me. the other one, a jack russel, thinks he rules the world. so he started eating my dogs' food. that made me mad, and plus it makes the jack russel sick. my sister was like, "nathan, hes going to get sick. make him stop. i think hes going to bite me." so i went over and told him to go inside. he knew what i meant; hes not a dumb dog, but since he rules the world he ignored me. so i bent down, knowing i was about to be attacked if i tried to move "his" food. so basically i got in a fight with a dog. he came to bite me but i shoved my knee in his face and he bit down on that. it didnt hurt at all since i was wearing jeans and im skinny so my bones stick out. haha. while he was shredding at my knee, i got leverage and got his head into a corner so he couldnt move. when he stopped chewing on me, i let him go and he ran inside while i yelled at him as loud as i could. it must have looked funny because i never yell. but i was so angry. what dog thinks he can just bite people? i chased him into another corner inside and now hes scared of me. wow, i sound really mean when i tell this story. i wish you guys knew this dog. hes probably the most vicious dog i know. no joke. he used to tear apart my soccer balls and randomly bite people when they went up the stairs. hes bitten me countless times. i dont know why. the dog is basically a threat to the human race. haha. he attacked me, and i won. that makes me laugh. someone needed to put that dog in its place. i never thought it would be me; im too laid back to get in fights. actually, i guess im not. haha. thats my story. connor, i always told you that if i got in a fight with a dog i would win. i was right. poor guy, he must not have any dignity. what dog loses to a skinny white kid? and im still high off the adrenaline rush. i guess it really is brains over brawn. i hope everyone doesnt think im terrible. im not abusive to animals; i love dogs. i guess i just have a problem with dogs who attack me when i try to keep them from getting sick off of food. haha. thats my amazing story. if you would like a more in-depth description of our fight, just let me know. haha

fourth period

I am sitting with connor in the library. he's going to write a paper. what a slacker. on the way to the library, i almost got in a fight with this emily girl with a big attitude, but connor stopped me from taking her out. haha. i am bored so i going to write about amusing things.

i wore my cavalier hat to Burger King with connor a few days ago. he was mad and didnt like that at all. but it was hilarious. i think i will do it again.

i've decided that long hair is very practical. when i look down at my desk, my hair covers my eyes. this is a very convenient sleeping position. the teacher thinks i'm just looking at my paper while im actually asleep. as soon as guys discover this incredible phenemenon, every one of them will have long hair; i guarantee it.

i am the slowest eater in the history of mankind. actually im slow at evrything. at Burger King, where we went for lunch, I payed entirely in coins. the guy didnt even bother to count them. it was very funny. im a dork. but back to the point that i am slow. it took me the equivalant of one and a half lunch periods to eat my fill, and i still didnt even finish all my food. cool.

in spanish we got to use tape recorders. i decided i wanted to figure out how they opened when you press eject. so i practically had my nose inside the thing opening and shutting it a million times. afterwards i realized how many people were staring at me. i am a cool kid and you are all very lucky to know me. haha.

so im done now. this took me half an hour to write and connor still hasnt started his flipping paper. what a slacker.

Jumping the Gun

I was with my band, Phoenix, yesterday and we were talking about which songs we're playing for Battle of the Bands. we have new ones and they sound really good, i must say. you can ask connor; he came for practice yesterday to take pictures of us. cool. so basically i am jumping the gun and telling everyone to come to our next Battle of the Bands, which is in december i believe. but its at the Gothic Theater and you win serious cash if you place. im excited. and everyone else should be too and should come. so thats that. hooray!!!!!!!